By Andrew Fornier
When Robot Unicorn Attack first blasted onto the scene, courtesy of the demented folks at Spiritonin Media Games, the world probably wondered whether its designers were hell-bent on designing the gayest game they could possibly patch together. Set in a world of glittering colors and magical dolphins leaping in the background, and with the mega-homosexual, ultra-LSS song “Always” by Erasure as its theme music, it’s difficult to fathom how this game captured the fancy and free time of many hardcore male gamers, shooting up the most-played charts as word spread quickly of its existence. Even today, Robot Unicorn Attack remains a phenomenon in the online and mobile gaming realms, a testament to how humanity loves to embrace its extremes.
Yes, Robot Unicorn Attack went so far off the deep end, so over the top in its combination of every possible element that would turn away the average testosterone-fuelled gamer, that gamers flocked to it in droves. We all loved how it was an obvious mockery of all of these things that made little girls squeal and grown men cringe. Maybe there were a few out there who questioned their sexuality after playing the game and liking it, but for the most part, we got that this was a send-up on many levels. Long after the joke had gotten stale, however, we were still playing, using up our three wishes, and capturing pixies and stars as Andy Bell serenaded us.
And that’s because, in the midst of all of this sparkling pink, Spiritonin had actually given us a game. One of those rare games that is ridiculously simple to play, but intensely difficult to master. Though you only have two buttons to worry about, the game is a pretty challenging test of reflexes, platforming skills and the ability to ignore squeaky dolphins as you charge forward. Worse still, Robot Unicorn Attack doesn’t actually end, but keeps galloping off into infinity, daring gamers from all over the planet to beat the ever-increasing high scores that get posted on the leader boards. Who cares if you’re piloting a unicorn through a crystal landscape? You’re at five hundred million points already, darn it!
And then, if only to make this cocktail of irony a little easier to swallow, the unicorn just happens to be a robot. Somehow, the cybernetic aspect of the game’s protagonist is what keeps the game from toppling off the cliff of cool and into the pit of all the discarded dress-up social games and doll simulations that you see tons of on the web these days. This isn’t your sissy happiness and colors video game, kids, because there’s a robot in it! As we all know, robots are the bane of all things non-masculine. Also, with the possible exception of the Terminator, robot appeal is pretty exclusive to the geek crowd.
But really, who are we fooling? It’s a game with a dreadful rainbows-and-butterflies aesthetic, a horrific/nostalgic song playing in the background, and a gameplay that borders on mind-numbing. It’s also a game that, against all odds, managed to charm the heck out of all of us, and one that we will look back upon fondly a decade from now. Until, of course, someone decides to design an even crazier, weirder, relentlessly addicting unicorn-based pastime.
[Tukkolabs]
The Manliness of Rainbows and Unicorns
By Andrew Fornier
When Robot Unicorn Attack first blasted onto the scene, courtesy of the demented folks at Spiritonin Media Games, the world probably wondered whether its designers were hell-bent on designing the gayest game they could possibly patch together. Set in a world of glittering colors and magical dolphins leaping in the background, and with the mega-homosexual, ultra-LSS song “Always” by Erasure as its theme music, it’s difficult to fathom how this game captured the fancy and free time of many hardcore male gamers, shooting up the most-played charts as word spread quickly of its existence. Even today, Robot Unicorn Attack remains a phenomenon in the online and mobile gaming realms, a testament to how humanity loves to embrace its extremes.
And that’s because, in the midst of all of this sparkling pink, Spiritonin had actually given us a game. One of those rare games that is ridiculously simple to play, but intensely difficult to master. Though you only have two buttons to worry about, the game is a pretty challenging test of reflexes, platforming skills and the ability to ignore squeaky dolphins as you charge forward. Worse still, Robot Unicorn Attack doesn’t actually end, but keeps galloping off into infinity, daring gamers from all over the planet to beat the ever-increasing high scores that get posted on the leader boards. Who cares if you’re piloting a unicorn through a crystal landscape? You’re at five hundred million points already, darn it!
But really, who are we fooling? It’s a game with a dreadful rainbows-and-butterflies aesthetic, a horrific/nostalgic song playing in the background, and a gameplay that borders on mind-numbing. It’s also a game that, against all odds, managed to charm the heck out of all of us, and one that we will look back upon fondly a decade from now. Until, of course, someone decides to design an even crazier, weirder, relentlessly addicting unicorn-based pastime.
[Tukkolabs]