By EJ Afzelius
No, I don’t think it’s too early to start thinking about this. This era of current generation consoles is coming to a close, and frankly this old war has gotten a little stale. I’m not even sure the fanboys are fanning the flames anymore. You could probably compare the current hostilities to two drunks arguing over a pissing contest. “Nooo, mah pishh ish *hic* longhger *hic*…” Well, maybe that’s not 
true. I’m sure Xbox owners’ hearts were soaring with news of that awful Skyrim PS3 lag. But I’m bored with it! You want the numbers? The 360 is around 4 million units ahead of the PS3 worldwide at 64 million units, and whether or not Sony catches up (strong indications say they will), it doesn’t matter. The technologically inferior Wii is up by 30 million units! What does that tell us? In purely scientific terms… we’re all idiots. Still, it’s weirdly arousing to get the blood boiling over our console of choice, just not this generation of consoles.
So what have we got to look forward to? Well, Nintendo hit the ground running with the Wii U, currently a tentative name since consumers weren’t too keen on it. They actually weren’t too keen on the whole thing either, as a recent survey from Gamestop showed only 13 percent wanted the system, this despite having a very interesting touchscreen tablet controller, and graphics capabilities way ahead of the 360 and PS3. Wait, way ahead of the 360 and PS3? Who cares?! We want to know some real comparative details here against a true rival, like the currently dubbed Xbox 720 which sucks, hence I will call it the Voldemort. Why? Because it-that-shall-not-be-named is touting some unwanted, even if only rumored, specifications.
Sure the Xbox Voldemort boasts graphical power six times more powerful than that of its older sibling. It’s also speculatively 20% more powerful than the Wii U. Here’s the thing, another rumor has it that the system won’t allow used games. Of course that includes borrowed games. And that my dear padawans, is a damn f@#$!*g travesty. If not for borrowed games, I wouldn’t have known Metal Gear on the Nes. I wouldn’t have been introduced to the underrated wonder that is Enslaved (Andy Serkis is a voice over god!) And I wouldn’t be playing Skyrim right now. So screw that yeah? Used games also provide a small economy for certain retailers and a little extra income for people that don’t really collect their games. I believe game developers are damn rich enough. I believe IGN on their opinion stating that banning used games is a crime on consumers. I believe it’s our damn purchase and we would very much like to do whatever the hell we want with it!
Here’s another thing, 20% more powerful than the Wii U? That ain’t much deary. The Xbox was said to be a bit more powerful than that in comparison to the PS2 (the clear winner of the last console war), and you could barely tell the difference. And just six times more powerful than the current 
Xbox? I remember the 360 being more powerful than the original Xbox a lot more than that. It sounds good that Kinect functionality will be built in, but overall I’m a little underwhelmed by the Voldemort, and quite pissed off.
What about the PS4 you ask? Well rumor is we’ll see it at E3. Rumor also says Sony will bow out of the console race completely. You know what? I’d like to start a rumor. Rumor has it that fanboys that speak of such blasphemy will have their mouths burned off! Sigh. Actually, with the Vita being in hot water, who knows? All I know is Sony better release some sweet tidbit soon else we all jump on the Nintendo bandwagon once again.
The Wii U is in a fantastic position. Look, most people don’t nitpick over small graphical differences. And if the PS4 isn’t a lot more powerful than the Wii U, guess who’ll stay on top of the game? Nintendo. Screw the numbers, people didn’t care about the Wii either and guess where it’s at? That’s right, I’m calling it now. Ninty Wins. Again. Ugh. Dammit Sony, stop dropping the ball! And Microsoft? Be prepared. You’re people are about to get some nasty stalkers. Stupid used game banning…
[Tukkolabs]
Jumpstarting the Console War
By EJ Afzelius
No, I don’t think it’s too early to start thinking about this. This era of current generation consoles is coming to a close, and frankly this old war has gotten a little stale. I’m not even sure the fanboys are fanning the flames anymore. You could probably compare the current hostilities to two drunks arguing over a pissing contest. “Nooo, mah pishh ish *hic* longhger *hic*…” Well, maybe that’s not
true. I’m sure Xbox owners’ hearts were soaring with news of that awful Skyrim PS3 lag. But I’m bored with it! You want the numbers? The 360 is around 4 million units ahead of the PS3 worldwide at 64 million units, and whether or not Sony catches up (strong indications say they will), it doesn’t matter. The technologically inferior Wii is up by 30 million units! What does that tell us? In purely scientific terms… we’re all idiots. Still, it’s weirdly arousing to get the blood boiling over our console of choice, just not this generation of consoles.
So what have we got to look forward to? Well, Nintendo hit the ground running with the Wii U, currently a tentative name since consumers weren’t too keen on it. They actually weren’t too keen on the whole thing either, as a recent survey from Gamestop showed only 13 percent wanted the system, this despite having a very interesting touchscreen tablet controller, and graphics capabilities way ahead of the 360 and PS3. Wait, way ahead of the 360 and PS3? Who cares?! We want to know some real comparative details here against a true rival, like the currently dubbed Xbox 720 which sucks, hence I will call it the Voldemort. Why? Because it-that-shall-not-be-named is touting some unwanted, even if only rumored, specifications.
Here’s another thing, 20% more powerful than the Wii U? That ain’t much deary. The Xbox was said to be a bit more powerful than that in comparison to the PS2 (the clear winner of the last console war), and you could barely tell the difference. And just six times more powerful than the current
Xbox? I remember the 360 being more powerful than the original Xbox a lot more than that. It sounds good that Kinect functionality will be built in, but overall I’m a little underwhelmed by the Voldemort, and quite pissed off.
What about the PS4 you ask? Well rumor is we’ll see it at E3. Rumor also says Sony will bow out of the console race completely. You know what? I’d like to start a rumor. Rumor has it that fanboys that speak of such blasphemy will have their mouths burned off! Sigh. Actually, with the Vita being in hot water, who knows? All I know is Sony better release some sweet tidbit soon else we all jump on the Nintendo bandwagon once again.
The Wii U is in a fantastic position. Look, most people don’t nitpick over small graphical differences. And if the PS4 isn’t a lot more powerful than the Wii U, guess who’ll stay on top of the game? Nintendo. Screw the numbers, people didn’t care about the Wii either and guess where it’s at? That’s right, I’m calling it now. Ninty Wins. Again. Ugh. Dammit Sony, stop dropping the ball! And Microsoft? Be prepared. You’re people are about to get some nasty stalkers. Stupid used game banning…
[Tukkolabs]